今天,我OK了.

我開心你關心。還是你只是對事不對人？但我還是希望有一天會找到跟你一樣搞笑的人，因

爲人生苦短，沒有幽默風趣，人生真的好悶。但願某年某月某日，又遇到一個這樣的人？我

不清楚我是在幻想或是迷惘，總之先別去想吧？我知道我這幾個句子完全不符合邏輯了，但

我並不在乎。。。真得好奇怪。我是。。怎麽了？？:\

I seriously think we have a problem. Okay, I think I may be overreacting to my hormones once again, it's been this way for this few days, weird mood swings so I don't think it has anything to do with Mr. J since I like the letter J. But not the point. I started out loving my job, then I started loving working with Mr J on my job. Now I just LOVE poking fun at this person whenever I can. It's just THAT fun. But of course, Mr J is very serious sometimes, serious trying to strike lottery, serious playing travian and seriously scolding weird people. Serious teaching people and consoling others, and serious with his work and I've learnt lots from him. It's queer but maybe it's because he was the one who happened to fill my sadness and disappointment at failing to attain the morning shift next month and I guess move me slightly with his decisions. I feel like his pampered student and it's really fun coz we like to argue. Mr J is typically lazy and has lots of vices, but he has a kind heart. What the hell am I saying? I'm just describing Mr J now until he seems like a fictional character. Maybe he is, someone who lives in my heart and not real, I'm making him up. LOL. But I know he is not ideal, yet I still do enjoy working with him? Or maybe it's coz I enjoy working with him too much? Or that I fall into the office romance category too easily? Well, I won't deny I'm that sorta girl though I like to keep work and love separate. Oh right, he does not like fierce girls like me. HAHAHA, he mentioned it once, but coz he's so lazy, sometimes he asks me to do things for me and I'd like fight back saying, no, do it yourself, and it's fun coz some people find our bickering very funny and sometimes I find it funny too, and sometimes I'd do it for him anyway coz he is after all my teacher and I have learnt lots from him. I rmb describing him as this once, that actually I learnt a lot from him but I am unable to thank him properly because he can be so childish and difficult a person to properly express thanks to. But anyhows that is not an excuse. I appreciate a lot of little things done for me especially when I am feeling down but I must remember that I get easily moved when I'm feeling down and since I am unable to pin my emotions onto other people while I am here in Taipei and more alone than in SG, I suppose I more easily pin my emotions on Mr J. SO, we should stop all these nonsense and regain rationality - I really do like his humour and one day I hope to find someone who has his gift of the gab and who is more suitable for me. The chemistry can get pretty strong, but it really is for the fun of it only. :) No serious business okay? RMB and get that into your head. :)

Now, get his silly face outta your head. Especially when he does that silly boyish smile. GOD, enough please. I'm going into denial now. :)

=======

I know it is 4 AM in the morning and I was supposed to sleep earlier, but I "feel" like getting this all out of system so that I can focus on sleeping/working/doing actual work. So, what now? Let me continue to describe Mr J.

I rmb first meeting him was on my third day of work I think. My room key card demagnetised so I had to get him to make a new one for me and he also taught me to use the photocopier machine. He told me the code was 01011 and to rmb it. Let's continue, at that point I was thinking oh my, really pretty good looking. But I really did not think too much then, I mean kinda pointless, not exactly SUPER HOT that caught my heart you know? Then, I had a few shifts with him, but I never talked to him at all. It was only much much later when I finally caught his "tempo" and when he really took the time to teach me stuff that I got to understand the way he worked and how serious he can be. He has a nice heart too coz he likes children, except of course there are these children he scolds coz he finds them too irritating and naughty. I rmb seeing him smiling and trying to play with a kid silly-ly once and I found that really how would you put it, it exuded his boyish charm? I tried not to look then, but I like children too. I normally resist doing his dirty work and he is the only higher up whom I can say, huh, don't want larh, in the sa jiao way. Or the I don't want, do it yourself, in the fierce resistance way. LOL. It's hilarious but sometimes I still end up doing it coz he after all taught me lots and I should help him out, as he has more responsibilities to carry. I used to think he was lazy and like to eat, typical greedy and lazy person, but I find that when he needs to do something, he still does it and has high efficiency. A horoscope very suitable for me as well, he makes me feel very very tempted to just you know. but I can't. because there is such an age gap, it's impossible. he looks much younger than he really is but it is hilarious to tease him and call him old man. I tease him lots and that is why I'm sorry if I will hurt him sometimes by teasing overboard, but to me he is like a big child? Sometimes. The guys I work with during my shift can sometimes be like big boys. But today I felt a bit more protected and more like they grew up and acted their age. hahas. :P it feels nice to be a little woman sometimes, but I did not fully turn into a little woman either, because I was still fiercely cursing someone else. But anyways, anyways, idk, I just feel like at first Mr J smoked and it turned me off, I know I will NEVER ever like him or anything, but now I ask him about everything related to work, coz I feel like he is clearer and idk, starting to feel slightly overdependent on him, which is horrid coz I can't possible be calling for Mr J for every single thing I have doubts on right? Oh realisation is such a crappy feeling sometimes. And sometimes, when the moment is over, it's over, there's no returning to it. So, let's not return there. Everything is my one-sided love affair. :) yay. I'm happy like that. :) And it's not really love coz I have my own restrains and doubts about everything, so it's very very controlled at the moment. the key words are at the moment. Well, I can't do anything about that anyways, it's not my choice to make.

One day I still hope I will find someone in SG like you, nearer my age, likes me and does not smoke nor do drugs. Witty, has the boyish charm I so melt over and makes me feel I can lean on him if anything goes wrong. I really wish for the day when the chemistry you and I share, I find it in someone else as well. :) Maybe only I think we have that chemistry, boy how much more lop-sided can this get?? Oh wells, I really do pray hard that it is this way, I prefer the imbalance so I will not habour anything at all.

I will try to smile...but I can't help laughing at him. :P someone kill me.please.

We went to shilin today and ate:
- One 鸡排
- One 虾仁煎
- One cup of 泡泡冰 (something like blend ice but it is done manually and you use a spoon not a straw)

Of course, no, we're not full, but filled with liquids. My English sounds damn broken, must be the lack of typing so. Anyhoos, I must say, the macs here just isn't the same as that in SG.

Nearby got another street of shop after shop of clothes and things to see and buy! Though, bit wasted it started to rain cats and dogs, I was quite lang bei from getting drenched coz my umbrella is USELESS - the rain can seep through one. -.- But anyhoos, it's been raining so much lately, haiz, they say winter will rain and be even colder~ let's hope, I get warmer clothing or that they will actually INSTALL a heater in the hotel soon. =.=

So more pictures:

well, movie review time!

Watched two shows today~ G.I. JOE and DISTRICT 9 = pocket got big hole. :/ HAIZ, woke up late again today, and ended up missing the first 15 minutes of GI JOE. Bit sad but I got the movie in the end and it was alright: funny, action-packed, computer-graphic-ed. Generally a good film, but I guess not good enough if District 9 left a greater impression on me.

I initially did not know wth district 9 was about, simply heard about good reviews so off we went to watch this film. It started weird with many tv/video interviews of different people of the aliens in district 9. Aliens people have come to call prawns coz they supposedly are like the bottom-feeders, scavaging for items in trash sites and they all live in one area in shacks. Yups, so there was this guy from the MNU company who was put in charge of evicting these prawns to another area coz the people were complaining of them. All aliens are to sign an eviction notice and it is quite hilarious because people came to understand alien language. -.- And also the main character kept saying fog (instead of f***) so I found it quite hilarious there. Anyways, back to the main point - so this guy was evicting aliens and one time he stumbled upon this bottle of black fluid that an alien has been collecting for 20 years. While he accidentally had some spilt into his face and so inadvertently drank some. After which, he started showing weird signs and felt super unwell. And he had injured his hand prior which later grew into an alien hand. Human and alien DNA merged. He was invaluable to MNU for he could operate the alien weaponry that ONLY aliens could operate due to bio fluids of sorts. Scientists decided to kill him to harvest everything they could. Then so he escaped and became a fugitive. *note: decision maker to harvest is his father-in-law* and f-i-l lied to daughter that husband gna die. So anyways, I was damn pissed coz wtf, for arms they were about to kill a man? Harvest him like some science experiment. So the man ran off and seek fugitive with the alien who collected this fluid. The fluid was actually fuel to power up their ship to fly back to the mothership and so a battle ensues to re-capture the man and the man together with the alien fighting the humans off. As they can both operate alien weaponry, it was pretty cool and gruesome as people were decapitated and blasted into smitherins. I was quite happy that the bad guys were dying but also wondered about the numerous killings and if they were justified. Together with the fact that the stupid man got so pissed off for having to wait three years before the alien can transform him back to human and hitting the alien out cold and attempting to fly off back to the mothership without the alien, really angered me coz the alien was so kind to take him in and help him too. But anyway by a twist of events, it all changed and eventually, also quite sad for the guy coz he turned completely into one of the prawns. And his wife still waiting for him back home~ Still waiting for that alien who promised to be back in three years for him.

So my point is very simple. This movie although seemingly simple tells of the world's greed for arms. AND, I hated all the cover up work. There were those interviews of people who said this guy needed help but guess what, no one offered him any instead all tried to kill him. So yeah, most impt is to cover your ka cing. Rmb that everyone.

hmm, well I'm most prob gg to fly next week everyone. Hope to see you peeps soon. With all my love <3

hmm. I'm getting kinda twitches in my eyelids. My left eyelid. Scientifically, it's because I'm stressed, which stressed I AM. Non scientifically, zuo ji you xiong, ie left is lucky, right is danger. But! This eyelid has been twitching for a few days now, so when's the lucky coming I rly have no clue.

Well, is it cause I have unresolved issues such that I've become so screwed with human relationships? Is it really me? But I suppose since it's happening to me in bouts yeah? Well, I'm trying to curb it all, really I am, because the issue is not with them, it's really with myself. I guess there's things to learn from shuzhen. I know, jasmine has issues? Now that's a first. Well, technically everyone has issues. So it's not uncommon. Thing is, how do you face these issues? The way you handle it is really what differentiates/changes you I suppose. It's actually pretty strange. Whenever I have been upsetting people lately, I'm really calm. That can mean a few things I've analysed: I have thought it through clearly, their accusations are false and so I'm not bothered, I know what I'm doing, I just cannot be bothered. I don't know, maybe you'd like to give me a few more rationales. hahas. Well, yeahs, maybe it's just a combination of reasons. I don't like to see too far, but they always say this is how young people live today, feeling arh, and actually I don't like that at all. I don't exactly like living by feeling and in changing that, perhaps I have offended people. I've never been known as someone who offends other people, I really detest that, but the spate of events that have occured, I think I've made a few enemies. Which is super bad. I don't like making enemies.

Well, now I'm just kinda talking in circles and have no idea what my main point is anyway. Maybe I give up way too soon, but arhs, don't ask me wth I'm talking about, I've just changed subjects very quickly. Do try to get used to that. :p haahs.

Oh anyways. I don't know. Arhs, maybe it's my indifference that irritates them, so they end up getting more agitated? I really have no clue. Or maybe I do, but just refuse to see it? Idk. In a way, I'm afraid to put down that line too, coz I'm afraid of someone who will tell me. In such a harsh way I may not be able to take it. I mean, don't tell me when I'm in taiwan bahs - there'd be no one to support me and I may just end up getting fired on my internship and wandering the streets of taiwan coz I can't afford an air ticket to fly home. hahahahhas. Okay I'm JOKING. hahahahas.

On another note, yes I'm flying to taiwan. In a way I'm happy, in a way I'm not. I'm happy to get away from everything: that's just the cowardly way of saying yay I no need to care liaos. The other is of course that I am super apprehensive and I don't know how to deal. I guess I do need someone to talk to soon. And there's always mandy and that outing you promised! XING - where are you? You haven't been replying nor updating your blog? I'm gna contact you straight after exams, hope you're doing alright...Well, bit ashamed for that, gna make it all up to you.

I don't want to be what stupid leader and dno what leadership qualities although I do know leaders face these sort of problems all the time, I rather not - or maybe someone like'd to tell me otherwise.

But nonetheless, I'm currently watching this show which is a reality show - contestants are tied up to a lie detector and asked a series of super deep dark questions. If they are not completely honest, they won't get the money. So, yeah, well, I was about to say that it helps you face up to your issues till I realise that if you chose to say otherwise and hide the issue, the system will just generate that the answer is incorrect and the people you try to hide the issue from is just going to know that you mean otherwise anyway. SO, yeah, kinda pointless to hide, might as well just go all out, hurt all the people you know and win for yourself some cold hard cash. Now that's a thought. Or maybe not. What does this just say about humans? We're seriously just idiots who have so many secrets it catches up with us. I really just want to start anew - I sound like some criminal - but I really do, so I guess there's taiwan for that! hahas! How many people enter and leave your life each day and if you don't want them to leave, you have to let them know and hold on to them tightly, though sometimes they choose to leave and sometimes you choose to leave and sometimes time and distance just forces the rift. Well, enough about me. It's not all about me, me, me, me, me. I've since gone past that and realise that some people are still living in friendships of the most childish kind.But perhaps, it is those friendships which are the most valuable and should be the most protected, so that they never fade. I once wondered why my father did not have so many friends, but I realise that even those friends may not be the ones who he is really close with too. In the end, it is family who supports you the most and I would really like to thank my family for being there for me, though they don't know that. haahs. But anyways, perhaps it sounds like I've given up on friends, no I haven't don't worry. =) I don't want to sound like some self-centered bitch or whatever hypocrite, so I'm not going to say anything that makes me one. Even if it does not change the fact that I am one or whatever. That's just secondary. I guess in a way, ah lians and ah bengs are quite fortunate coz they just speak their minds and life is in a way, so MUCH easier, I'm sure they sleep very well since they don't have anything to worry about. HAHAHHAS. oh, except for gangfights. hahas. But anyways, it's kinda pointless to look back and wished you were still the same person you were even for some things you remenisce the past for, the point is that you're here and now, and how you mould your own future is what is left up for grabs. HAAHS.

MMMMMM, well enough of this talk. I think sometimes, people may say things that sound small and all, but I think at least the thought was there and I fully appreciate it. After all, the small things snowball into bigger things. =) I never fully and will never fully understand this something which I cannot and will not attempt to put into words. I guess, there's just too many things running through my mind: too many things bugging me: just so many things. But for now, I shall conclude this post, till next time. After all, problems are not for here and now only, otherwise we won't have a lifetime ahead of us. I'm just gna go study now. toodles everyone, till next time. Should be pretty damn soon. =)

xoxo, gossip girl. hahahahas. I miss that.

今天,我OK了.

我開心你關心。還是你只是對事不對人？但我還是希望有一天會找到跟你一樣搞笑的人，因

爲人生苦短，沒有幽默風趣，人生真的好悶。但願某年某月某日，又遇到一個這樣的人？我

不清楚我是在幻想或是迷惘，總之先別去想吧？我知道我這幾個句子完全不符合邏輯了，但

我並不在乎。。。真得好奇怪。我是。。怎麽了？？:\

I seriously think we have a problem. Okay, I think I may be overreacting to my hormones once again, it's been this way for this few days, weird mood swings so I don't think it has anything to do with Mr. J since I like the letter J. But not the point. I started out loving my job, then I started loving working with Mr J on my job. Now I just LOVE poking fun at this person whenever I can. It's just THAT fun. But of course, Mr J is very serious sometimes, serious trying to strike lottery, serious playing travian and seriously scolding weird people. Serious teaching people and consoling others, and serious with his work and I've learnt lots from him. It's queer but maybe it's because he was the one who happened to fill my sadness and disappointment at failing to attain the morning shift next month and I guess move me slightly with his decisions. I feel like his pampered student and it's really fun coz we like to argue. Mr J is typically lazy and has lots of vices, but he has a kind heart. What the hell am I saying? I'm just describing Mr J now until he seems like a fictional character. Maybe he is, someone who lives in my heart and not real, I'm making him up. LOL. But I know he is not ideal, yet I still do enjoy working with him? Or maybe it's coz I enjoy working with him too much? Or that I fall into the office romance category too easily? Well, I won't deny I'm that sorta girl though I like to keep work and love separate. Oh right, he does not like fierce girls like me. HAHAHA, he mentioned it once, but coz he's so lazy, sometimes he asks me to do things for me and I'd like fight back saying, no, do it yourself, and it's fun coz some people find our bickering very funny and sometimes I find it funny too, and sometimes I'd do it for him anyway coz he is after all my teacher and I have learnt lots from him. I rmb describing him as this once, that actually I learnt a lot from him but I am unable to thank him properly because he can be so childish and difficult a person to properly express thanks to. But anyhows that is not an excuse. I appreciate a lot of little things done for me especially when I am feeling down but I must remember that I get easily moved when I'm feeling down and since I am unable to pin my emotions onto other people while I am here in Taipei and more alone than in SG, I suppose I more easily pin my emotions on Mr J. SO, we should stop all these nonsense and regain rationality - I really do like his humour and one day I hope to find someone who has his gift of the gab and who is more suitable for me. The chemistry can get pretty strong, but it really is for the fun of it only. :) No serious business okay? RMB and get that into your head. :)

Now, get his silly face outta your head. Especially when he does that silly boyish smile. GOD, enough please. I'm going into denial now. :)

=======

I know it is 4 AM in the morning and I was supposed to sleep earlier, but I "feel" like getting this all out of system so that I can focus on sleeping/working/doing actual work. So, what now? Let me continue to describe Mr J.

I rmb first meeting him was on my third day of work I think. My room key card demagnetised so I had to get him to make a new one for me and he also taught me to use the photocopier machine. He told me the code was 01011 and to rmb it. Let's continue, at that point I was thinking oh my, really pretty good looking. But I really did not think too much then, I mean kinda pointless, not exactly SUPER HOT that caught my heart you know? Then, I had a few shifts with him, but I never talked to him at all. It was only much much later when I finally caught his "tempo" and when he really took the time to teach me stuff that I got to understand the way he worked and how serious he can be. He has a nice heart too coz he likes children, except of course there are these children he scolds coz he finds them too irritating and naughty. I rmb seeing him smiling and trying to play with a kid silly-ly once and I found that really how would you put it, it exuded his boyish charm? I tried not to look then, but I like children too. I normally resist doing his dirty work and he is the only higher up whom I can say, huh, don't want larh, in the sa jiao way. Or the I don't want, do it yourself, in the fierce resistance way. LOL. It's hilarious but sometimes I still end up doing it coz he after all taught me lots and I should help him out, as he has more responsibilities to carry. I used to think he was lazy and like to eat, typical greedy and lazy person, but I find that when he needs to do something, he still does it and has high efficiency. A horoscope very suitable for me as well, he makes me feel very very tempted to just you know. but I can't. because there is such an age gap, it's impossible. he looks much younger than he really is but it is hilarious to tease him and call him old man. I tease him lots and that is why I'm sorry if I will hurt him sometimes by teasing overboard, but to me he is like a big child? Sometimes. The guys I work with during my shift can sometimes be like big boys. But today I felt a bit more protected and more like they grew up and acted their age. hahas. :P it feels nice to be a little woman sometimes, but I did not fully turn into a little woman either, because I was still fiercely cursing someone else. But anyways, anyways, idk, I just feel like at first Mr J smoked and it turned me off, I know I will NEVER ever like him or anything, but now I ask him about everything related to work, coz I feel like he is clearer and idk, starting to feel slightly overdependent on him, which is horrid coz I can't possible be calling for Mr J for every single thing I have doubts on right? Oh realisation is such a crappy feeling sometimes. And sometimes, when the moment is over, it's over, there's no returning to it. So, let's not return there. Everything is my one-sided love affair. :) yay. I'm happy like that. :) And it's not really love coz I have my own restrains and doubts about everything, so it's very very controlled at the moment. the key words are at the moment. Well, I can't do anything about that anyways, it's not my choice to make.

One day I still hope I will find someone in SG like you, nearer my age, likes me and does not smoke nor do drugs. Witty, has the boyish charm I so melt over and makes me feel I can lean on him if anything goes wrong. I really wish for the day when the chemistry you and I share, I find it in someone else as well. :) Maybe only I think we have that chemistry, boy how much more lop-sided can this get?? Oh wells, I really do pray hard that it is this way, I prefer the imbalance so I will not habour anything at all.

I will try to smile...but I can't help laughing at him. :P someone kill me.please.

We went to shilin today and ate:
- One 鸡排
- One 虾仁煎
- One cup of 泡泡冰 (something like blend ice but it is done manually and you use a spoon not a straw)

Of course, no, we're not full, but filled with liquids. My English sounds damn broken, must be the lack of typing so. Anyhoos, I must say, the macs here just isn't the same as that in SG.

Nearby got another street of shop after shop of clothes and things to see and buy! Though, bit wasted it started to rain cats and dogs, I was quite lang bei from getting drenched coz my umbrella is USELESS - the rain can seep through one. -.- But anyhoos, it's been raining so much lately, haiz, they say winter will rain and be even colder~ let's hope, I get warmer clothing or that they will actually INSTALL a heater in the hotel soon. =.=

So more pictures:

well, movie review time!

Watched two shows today~ G.I. JOE and DISTRICT 9 = pocket got big hole. :/ HAIZ, woke up late again today, and ended up missing the first 15 minutes of GI JOE. Bit sad but I got the movie in the end and it was alright: funny, action-packed, computer-graphic-ed. Generally a good film, but I guess not good enough if District 9 left a greater impression on me.

I initially did not know wth district 9 was about, simply heard about good reviews so off we went to watch this film. It started weird with many tv/video interviews of different people of the aliens in district 9. Aliens people have come to call prawns coz they supposedly are like the bottom-feeders, scavaging for items in trash sites and they all live in one area in shacks. Yups, so there was this guy from the MNU company who was put in charge of evicting these prawns to another area coz the people were complaining of them. All aliens are to sign an eviction notice and it is quite hilarious because people came to understand alien language. -.- And also the main character kept saying fog (instead of f***) so I found it quite hilarious there. Anyways, back to the main point - so this guy was evicting aliens and one time he stumbled upon this bottle of black fluid that an alien has been collecting for 20 years. While he accidentally had some spilt into his face and so inadvertently drank some. After which, he started showing weird signs and felt super unwell. And he had injured his hand prior which later grew into an alien hand. Human and alien DNA merged. He was invaluable to MNU for he could operate the alien weaponry that ONLY aliens could operate due to bio fluids of sorts. Scientists decided to kill him to harvest everything they could. Then so he escaped and became a fugitive. *note: decision maker to harvest is his father-in-law* and f-i-l lied to daughter that husband gna die. So anyways, I was damn pissed coz wtf, for arms they were about to kill a man? Harvest him like some science experiment. So the man ran off and seek fugitive with the alien who collected this fluid. The fluid was actually fuel to power up their ship to fly back to the mothership and so a battle ensues to re-capture the man and the man together with the alien fighting the humans off. As they can both operate alien weaponry, it was pretty cool and gruesome as people were decapitated and blasted into smitherins. I was quite happy that the bad guys were dying but also wondered about the numerous killings and if they were justified. Together with the fact that the stupid man got so pissed off for having to wait three years before the alien can transform him back to human and hitting the alien out cold and attempting to fly off back to the mothership without the alien, really angered me coz the alien was so kind to take him in and help him too. But anyway by a twist of events, it all changed and eventually, also quite sad for the guy coz he turned completely into one of the prawns. And his wife still waiting for him back home~ Still waiting for that alien who promised to be back in three years for him.

So my point is very simple. This movie although seemingly simple tells of the world's greed for arms. AND, I hated all the cover up work. There were those interviews of people who said this guy needed help but guess what, no one offered him any instead all tried to kill him. So yeah, most impt is to cover your ka cing. Rmb that everyone.

hmm, well I'm most prob gg to fly next week everyone. Hope to see you peeps soon. With all my love <3

hmm. I'm getting kinda twitches in my eyelids. My left eyelid. Scientifically, it's because I'm stressed, which stressed I AM. Non scientifically, zuo ji you xiong, ie left is lucky, right is danger. But! This eyelid has been twitching for a few days now, so when's the lucky coming I rly have no clue.

Well, is it cause I have unresolved issues such that I've become so screwed with human relationships? Is it really me? But I suppose since it's happening to me in bouts yeah? Well, I'm trying to curb it all, really I am, because the issue is not with them, it's really with myself. I guess there's things to learn from shuzhen. I know, jasmine has issues? Now that's a first. Well, technically everyone has issues. So it's not uncommon. Thing is, how do you face these issues? The way you handle it is really what differentiates/changes you I suppose. It's actually pretty strange. Whenever I have been upsetting people lately, I'm really calm. That can mean a few things I've analysed: I have thought it through clearly, their accusations are false and so I'm not bothered, I know what I'm doing, I just cannot be bothered. I don't know, maybe you'd like to give me a few more rationales. hahas. Well, yeahs, maybe it's just a combination of reasons. I don't like to see too far, but they always say this is how young people live today, feeling arh, and actually I don't like that at all. I don't exactly like living by feeling and in changing that, perhaps I have offended people. I've never been known as someone who offends other people, I really detest that, but the spate of events that have occured, I think I've made a few enemies. Which is super bad. I don't like making enemies.

Well, now I'm just kinda talking in circles and have no idea what my main point is anyway. Maybe I give up way too soon, but arhs, don't ask me wth I'm talking about, I've just changed subjects very quickly. Do try to get used to that. :p haahs.

Oh anyways. I don't know. Arhs, maybe it's my indifference that irritates them, so they end up getting more agitated? I really have no clue. Or maybe I do, but just refuse to see it? Idk. In a way, I'm afraid to put down that line too, coz I'm afraid of someone who will tell me. In such a harsh way I may not be able to take it. I mean, don't tell me when I'm in taiwan bahs - there'd be no one to support me and I may just end up getting fired on my internship and wandering the streets of taiwan coz I can't afford an air ticket to fly home. hahahahhas. Okay I'm JOKING. hahahahas.

On another note, yes I'm flying to taiwan. In a way I'm happy, in a way I'm not. I'm happy to get away from everything: that's just the cowardly way of saying yay I no need to care liaos. The other is of course that I am super apprehensive and I don't know how to deal. I guess I do need someone to talk to soon. And there's always mandy and that outing you promised! XING - where are you? You haven't been replying nor updating your blog? I'm gna contact you straight after exams, hope you're doing alright...Well, bit ashamed for that, gna make it all up to you.

I don't want to be what stupid leader and dno what leadership qualities although I do know leaders face these sort of problems all the time, I rather not - or maybe someone like'd to tell me otherwise.

But nonetheless, I'm currently watching this show which is a reality show - contestants are tied up to a lie detector and asked a series of super deep dark questions. If they are not completely honest, they won't get the money. So, yeah, well, I was about to say that it helps you face up to your issues till I realise that if you chose to say otherwise and hide the issue, the system will just generate that the answer is incorrect and the people you try to hide the issue from is just going to know that you mean otherwise anyway. SO, yeah, kinda pointless to hide, might as well just go all out, hurt all the people you know and win for yourself some cold hard cash. Now that's a thought. Or maybe not. What does this just say about humans? We're seriously just idiots who have so many secrets it catches up with us. I really just want to start anew - I sound like some criminal - but I really do, so I guess there's taiwan for that! hahas! How many people enter and leave your life each day and if you don't want them to leave, you have to let them know and hold on to them tightly, though sometimes they choose to leave and sometimes you choose to leave and sometimes time and distance just forces the rift. Well, enough about me. It's not all about me, me, me, me, me. I've since gone past that and realise that some people are still living in friendships of the most childish kind.But perhaps, it is those friendships which are the most valuable and should be the most protected, so that they never fade. I once wondered why my father did not have so many friends, but I realise that even those friends may not be the ones who he is really close with too. In the end, it is family who supports you the most and I would really like to thank my family for being there for me, though they don't know that. haahs. But anyways, perhaps it sounds like I've given up on friends, no I haven't don't worry. =) I don't want to sound like some self-centered bitch or whatever hypocrite, so I'm not going to say anything that makes me one. Even if it does not change the fact that I am one or whatever. That's just secondary. I guess in a way, ah lians and ah bengs are quite fortunate coz they just speak their minds and life is in a way, so MUCH easier, I'm sure they sleep very well since they don't have anything to worry about. HAHAHHAS. oh, except for gangfights. hahas. But anyways, it's kinda pointless to look back and wished you were still the same person you were even for some things you remenisce the past for, the point is that you're here and now, and how you mould your own future is what is left up for grabs. HAAHS.

MMMMMM, well enough of this talk. I think sometimes, people may say things that sound small and all, but I think at least the thought was there and I fully appreciate it. After all, the small things snowball into bigger things. =) I never fully and will never fully understand this something which I cannot and will not attempt to put into words. I guess, there's just too many things running through my mind: too many things bugging me: just so many things. But for now, I shall conclude this post, till next time. After all, problems are not for here and now only, otherwise we won't have a lifetime ahead of us. I'm just gna go study now. toodles everyone, till next time. Should be pretty damn soon. =)

xoxo, gossip girl. hahahahas. I miss that.